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The Avs played Dallas-Minnesota-Dallas-NY Rangers. Seeing Ott-Clutterbuck-Ott-Avery was enough to bust out my bardish powers and pen an ode to cowardly pests across the league.

More after the jump

Here's the story of some sorry cowards
Whose reputation is league-wide maligned.
All of them were known, to take cheap shots,
And run opponents from behind.

Here's the story, of some diving bitches,
Some of whom use their stick like a harpoon,
others put their elbows, into temples,
then hide behind their goon.

They goad their enemies into dropping their gloves
with no intention of throwing a punch,
they are dirty diving, no good whiners.
That's why, they are the asshat punks.

The asshat punks,
The asshat punks,

That's why, they are known as the asshat punks.
The asshat punks,