The Vancouver Canucks seem to be the victims of an awful lot of communication woes these days. First there was Alex Burrows claiming that referee Stephane Auger told him before the game that Auger was out to get Burrows.Auger then went out and made two questionable calls against the Vancouver forward.

Then in their next game Derek Boogard claims that Darcy Hordichuk was told by coach Vigneault to goad the Wild enforcer into a fight.

Well we certainly have a communication problem  in Vancouver.I've got the inside scoop on what exactly is going on in Vancouver.

More after the jump:

Auger: "Can you believe what NBC is doing to Conan. God that Jeff Zucker"
Burrow: "Wait...what did you call me?"

Auger: "That Elin was really out to get Tiger. She smashed his face in with a driver!"
Burrows: did he just say he was out to get me? How did he know my pet name is Tiger? I am not a diver

Auger: "Hey Alex. How's the family? Dad still drinking heavily. Ha ha ha! Just kidding. Good luck
Burrows: Ha ha. I hate you with a fiery passion. I will get my vengeance.

Auger: "Those god damned Sedin Twins, I can never tell them apart. Every time one of them commits a penalty, I'm just going to call it on you so I don't look foolish calling one of them by the wrong name."
Burrows: ... God Damnit

Auger: "You Vancouver fans with your oldest tricks in the book. even though I'll give you guys credit. A laser pointer in the stands in Kiprusoff's eyes. Seriously that's not creative at all. All you guys were missing was the Claw of Archimedes. you have really half-assed fans. I mean it's almost like they are out to get you.  "
Burrow: No one, I mean NO ONE gets away with making fun of our fans lack of knowledge of Ancient Greek mythological weapons. Just to show him whose boss I will create an officiating controversy as retribution. then I will build a giant wooden horse and leave it at his door as an offering of peace. Oh I will have my vengeance Stephane Auger. I will have my vengeance. Muhahahahahahahahahaha.


Now we have reasons why Alan Vigneult is really sending Darcy Hordichuk (6'-1" 212lbs) to challenge Derek Boogard (6'-8" 257lbs) to a fight.

- Hordichuk made Vigneult late getting off the bus, causing Vigneult to get behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line.

- Hordichuk jokingly said he wanted to attend Boogard's fighting school.

- Vigneult keeps thinking Darcy Hordchuk is actually Darcy Tucker.

- Hordichuk is a Leno guy.

(I was going to make a Burrows joke here, but I couldn't for the life of me find the boxing clip where a fighter takes a dive from Hot Shots Part Deux on the internet. I can't believe the internet failed me)