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Avalanche New Years Resolutions

The Avs recently made some hockey related New Years Resolutions, and through my secret sources, I happened to come across the list of their resolutions. Here they are:

John Michael Liles:
• Block more shots with my face so the guys stop teasing me about being a bit of a pretty boy.

Kevin Shattenkirk:
• Study a successful veteran, like JM Liles, and try emulate what he does

Matt Hunwick:
• Try to fit in with my teammates, and defensive partners, by doing what they do.

Chris Stewart:
• Stop breaking my hand on other players faces.
• Remember to collect royalties from Old Spice for inspiring those commercials.
• Seriously Ladies, Look at your man, now look at me. Your man can be the man who smells like me

Adam Foote:
• Show those whippersnappers Stastny and Duchene how it’s done by walzing to Nach Tanz after wins

Matt Duchene:  
• Take out the trash more often
• Retweet LouisCK, not Dane Cook (If it’s not on there, it should be)

Ryan O’Reilly
• My eyes can deceive me, don’t trust them
• Use the Force
• Practice the Jedi Mind trick that gives him the ability to make weak minded defensemen throw the puck into their own net.

Danniel Winnik
• Nothing

Paul Stastny:
• Stay up past 10:30 some night.

David Jones:
• Maybe this will be the year I finally break my superstition of breaking a mirror on the ladder I’m walking under before every game.

Avs Marketing:
• Come up with some catchy slogan for next season. Feel the A-xcitement. Wait, that’s terrible. Feel the A-xcitement! Ahh, another successful year in the books.

Craig Anderson:
• Find a way to regain my focus. Start with the Dallas Stars Ice Girls calender, then move on to the Blackhawks, Hurricanes, and, for nostalgia’s sake, the Panthers.  

Greg Sherman:
• Have an intern comb the Pepsi center after every game looking for any change that fans may have dropped.